Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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