apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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