Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
4 words: hood of his car
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize