Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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