Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
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I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
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Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize