Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
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Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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