Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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