I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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