i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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