My first STD was from a foam party
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize