Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize