That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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