he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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