thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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