OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
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I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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