Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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