guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize