So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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