im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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