Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize