I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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