the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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