I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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