I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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