Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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