Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize