My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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