I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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