We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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