She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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