I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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