i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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