Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I need help removing her.

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(919): I need help removing her. http://tfl.nu/mzqp

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(309): View more from Illinois

is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?

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(309): is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring? http://tfl.nu/8ib1

Replies (42) Good night (1265) Bad night (4047) Order T-Shirt
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(805): View more from California

Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...

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(805): Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head... http://tfl.nu/1do3

Replies (36) Good night (1170) Bad night (3465) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.

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(815): His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper. http://tfl.nu/rdz6

Replies (35) Good night (1822) Bad night (2684) Order T-Shirt
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(208): View more from Idaho

Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl

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(208): Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl http://tfl.nu/2pl6

Replies (7) Good night (578) Bad night (3639) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.

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(630): Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening. http://tfl.nu/nbt7

Replies (15) Good night (5336) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.

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(518): She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change. http://tfl.nu/rlg4

Replies (16) Good night (1741) Bad night (5634) Order T-Shirt
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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt

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(609): i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt http://tfl.nu/t4r8

Replies (25) Good night (11903) Bad night (1259)
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(514): View more from Quebec

He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.

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(514): He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic. http://tfl.nu/4dpi

Replies (38) Good night (11895) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
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(713): View more from Texas

she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..

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(713): she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding.. http://tfl.nu/h93z

Replies (16) Good night (1367) Bad night (5417) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.

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(724): You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame. http://tfl.nu/zyq0

Replies (14) Good night (1802) Bad night (2816) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...

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(970): He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree... http://tfl.nu/exvr

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.

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(318): Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius. http://tfl.nu/se02

Replies (7) Good night (1221) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
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(714): View more from California

She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?

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(714): She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what? http://tfl.nu/cv8q

Replies (51) Good night (1049) Bad night (4931) Order T-Shirt
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.

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(865): I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday. http://tfl.nu/q5oo

Replies (0) Good night (497) Bad night (200)

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