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I need help removing her.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
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