I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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