she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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