I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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