i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
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i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
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We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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