is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
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They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
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I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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