why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize