Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize