I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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