I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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