He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
time to smoke my breakfast
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
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For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
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I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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