she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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