ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize