I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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