she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
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is this the sara with the beer cane?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
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we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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