im drinking this country out of the recession.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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