Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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