you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize